Torchwood Series 2 Episode 4 - Meat

After I ‘panned’ last week’s episode, surely this week’s couldn’t be any worse? No it wasn’t, but I was tempted!

I almost dismissed the story before it started. The episode was called ‘Meat’ and it was about ‘Alien Meat’! Ok I watched it and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would have been.

Gwen’s boyfriend Rhys, works for a Haulage firm and when one of their drivers dies in a car crash, he’s called down to talk to the police, then Torchwood turn up.

The meat (in the back of the truck) wasn’t from a recognised animal, but it had an (forged) authentication stamp. So while the team are pissing about, eating pizza, Rhys does some proper detective work and visits the location the deceased driver had been to.

Ran by a few rapscallions, who looked about as viscous as slug smoking Caribbean woodbines, the warehouse held an alien creature that can only be described as a ‘big blob thing’! Seriously, the term ‘cash cow’ doesn’t come into it! So anyway, Rhys confronts Gwen and he’s taken to Torchwood and a few camp mannerisms later, he drives the team to the warehouse.

Once inside, they (eventually) get the better of the men, Rhys gets shot and they all get upset because the ‘big blob thing’ dies. Its hardly got the feeling of ‘Lawrence of Arabia’, but this is Torchwood, so it’ll do!

Without the bigger role of Rhys (and to some extent, the ever improving Ianto), this episode would have been terrible. Now that Gwen has refused to give him any Retcon (which makes you forget, just like a few cans of ‘good shit’!), he now knows all about Torchwood and aliens. Which is pretty confusing, considering London has been invaded by aliens in the last few years of Doctor Who.

7/10

Next Week: Jack gets locked in a toilet in a Cardiff library. You can imagine what happens next…