Torchwood Series 2 Episode 1 - Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang

Torchwood’s back! And oh no, there’s a fish driving a sports car! Are we in for yet more disappointing rubbish? Not quite.

James Marsters (aka Spike from Buffy) dons a dodgy accent, which ranges from West Midlands to London and also, a quite striking cowboy 'getup'! Is RTD a fan of Brokeback ‘the film which destroyed the whole genre of westerns and John Wayne is quite possibly rolling around, in his grave’ Mountain, then?

Despite this, the episode is pretty good. Not the best, in my opinion, ‘Random Shoes’ is still my fave but it’s still a cracking start to the series!

Captain John Hart (Marsters) is an old time agent buddy of Captain Jack and as soon as they clasp eyes on each other, RTD gets hot flushes and you know what happens next! I’m not even going into the ‘gay agenda’, which RTD is preaching, I just want to say ‘I was never confused!’

The plot itself, is a little predictable. Captain John is looking for a few canisters that would lead him to some diamond. It’s hardly got the twists and turns of an episode of The Professionals! Ultimately, he fails, goes back with his tail between his legs but he has one parting shot for his former ‘lover’, ‘I found Grey’. Who or what is ‘Grey’ (or Gray?) is unknown, but it’s already built up wild speculation on the net! Or maybe not.

The special effects seem to have gone up a notch too, so as the acting! The bloke who plays Ianto ‘The Tea Boy’ looked like he deserved his Equity card, for once! The bird who plays Gwen, looked very pretty, for once and Owen got shot!

Overall, a great start. Plenty to keep you entertained, if you’re a gay (or a closet gay) you’ll love it!

8/10

Coming Next Week – Jack and Ianto go on their ‘date’ to Pizza Hut but some annoying 8-year calls them gays and Ianto runs off crying. Jack tries to ‘console’ him but fails, Ianto opens the rift and the world is on its knees. All through a snotty-nosed little kid.